Thursday, January 21, 2010

Divorced Dads and Visitation Problems: Three Things to Improve the Quality of Time With Your Children

Divorced dads who have visitation rights but do not share joint custody have an especially difficult time after divorce if their former spouses are not fully cooperative in adhering to the visitation agreement. For the first year or two after divorce, many divorced couples still have anger issues towards each other relative to problems that ocurred during the marriage.

This can result in the custodial spouse (mom) withholding visitation for various reasons, not legitimate. This can add to the anger and pain that dads experience. They don't have as much visitation as both them and their children need. Due to the increased financial burden of child support, divorced dads often don't have enough income to get legal help to enforce the visitation agreement.

They are then faced with the problems of erratic visitation, which is also hard on the children. They can develop low self esteem and trust issues that can impact the quality of their potential for forming intimate relationships in young adult life.

This may seem like a glum situation, but there are some solutions. The following information shows you three things divorced dads can do to improve the quality of time with their children.

I. FOCUS ON SIMPLE INEXPENSIVE TIME TOGETHER
* Play board games
* Take trips to local parks
* Ride bicycles together
* Watch educational videos and TV programs

II. MAINTAIN CONTACT BETWEEN VISITS
* Make phone calls, send cards or emails
* Attend their extra-curricular events: sports, hobbies, etc.

III. GET INVOLVED IN YOUR CHILD'S SCHOOL
* Attend school events that they participate in
* When possible, arrange to visit their special classroom activies
* Arrange to have treats sent to the classroom on the child's birthday

These are all simple things that any divorced dad can do to improve the quality of their relationship with their children when visitation is erratic and problematic. You can come up with your own ideas - anything you can do to stay involved in their lives will help. Recognize that it is not necessarily quantity but quality that is important for divorced dads to maintain a good relationship with their children.